so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize