yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
