Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
