Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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