I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
