six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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