Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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