Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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