Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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