Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
