your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
