So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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