a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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