Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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