i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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