Dual....:-)
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
