Moan for me like Helen Keller
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
