I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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