so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
