Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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