chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
