i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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