I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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