so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
