I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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