its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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