I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
