I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My feet surprised me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
