How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Let the clothes fall where they may.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
