i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
