U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
