I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
