My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
