So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
