I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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