i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
