yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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