your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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