I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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