i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize