there was a trapeze. enough said
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
