I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
