No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
