I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
