I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
