I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
