Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
