I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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