im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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