For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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