Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
