Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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