where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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