we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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