that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
