were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
