i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
