stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
