Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
